How taking care of my Dad saved my vacation

I had a little vacation from work planned around July 4th. As my goal for this time, I wanted to relax, refocus, and recenter myself The first few days weren't a complete waste but things were not going well. I felt agitated and nervous.  The days seemed to be going to fast.  I had originally planned on going somewhere like a cabin for a personal retreat but for reasons was unable to do so.  And I knew the last two days of my vacation would be spent helping to take care of my Dad.

Do to his private nature I won't go into details, but my Dad suffers from a medical condition that leaves him basically bed ridden. So he requires the type of care consistent with that situation. I wouldn't be doing this alone.  A wonderful care giver, shout out to Laurie, who helps take care of him would be there. Perhaps that was what was making me nervous.  I did have a horrible nightmare of him falling all over the place and hurting himself.

I drove up to help out.  The oddest thing happened. A sense of calm and satisfaction grew in me.  I found myself become not more relaxed per say, but more present and centered.  These feelings have stayed with me since I left.

I don't know if only one thing or a combination led to this state of being. I didn't really have to do much.   My Dad doesn't do a lot of interaction right now. A lot of time was spent reading or watching tv. I also didn't spend much time on the internet.  For some sadistic reason I like to read things that make me angry.  The common phrase yelled at my browser is "Stop saying stupid things!".  But I know what I think really helped: the ability to show love to someone through simple physical care. It is a simple thing to wipe a chin or make sure his hair is combed, but these acts can express love and bring us together.  When I had to leave I told him I loved him and he said he loved me to. Many times in my life he has shown me he loves me through actions. I was able to do the same for once. 

Comments

Sara Louise said…
That was really nice. I'm sure your Dad appreciated you being there :)

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